Guest Blog Post: Stacey Greene
Experiencing Grief
There is not a single person I know who has not lost someone. Death often rears its ugly head when we least expect it.
I lost my first loved one when I was about ten or eleven, and it was the one grandparent I resonated with the most. I lost my most recent “someone” just last month. In between, numerous friends and family have gone on to meet their maker, but it took me until I was in my 40s before I truly allowed myself to stop and grieve.
Letters to the Dead Men is the story of Lydia and the loss of six exceptional men who all left this earth much sooner than she would have liked.
Each one taught her a very different lesson while they were here.
Each one died at a different time in her journey, yet her personality and own insecurities made her feel weak if she dared pause to grieve.
She used obligations to school, work, and family as excuses to return to routine with little time to process loss.
As you can imagine, years later, Lydia continued to feel guilt, shame, sadness, and missed opportunities when thinking about these six lovely men she knew God put into her life for a reason.
The character of Lydia is based on my life experience with death. She decides to write letters to these men long after they pass. Some were thank-you notes for a principal life lesson learned, and some were more of an apology for her behavior when they were alive.
The letters allowed her the healing and closure she needed to move forward.
The book came about one day when I was taking too long to tell a story to my husband. He urged me to reach the point, and I laughed at him.
“Don’t you get it! You are it! You are the only man I have left to tell my long stories to. I lost my Grandpa, my brother, two of my best friends in high school, my other brother, and now my dad.”
He looked at me incredulously and then softened. “Maybe that is your next book,” he said to me.
The rest is history. The book was written and is a lovely journey through grief.
To say it was cathartic is cliché.
It was so much more for me.
The lessons I learned when crafting the six letters have made me appreciate everyone more while they are still here.
I would love to say that I am a perfect friend with no judgment and always there for people, but I know we all fall short of perfection. Still, each day I try to be a better friend, sister, mother, and wife than I was the day before.
I know that God has a plan and purpose for us, whether our lives are good and long or decidedly cut short.
If you struggle with grief, I would love to share my journaling through grief tips and be that extra shoulder you may need to cry on.
Contact me through www.StaceyGreene.net
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